Dear Avery,
What does it feel like to start your career over in middle age? Well, the company I just left after 14 years, taught more about life that I’m reflecting on now. I’m not just talking about business acumen, how to prepare a PowerPoint presentation, or about email etiquette. It was so much more about people interaction, who I was a leader, and when to make a name for yourself.
I learned that my 20’s were meant for learning what the corporate ladder even was, and that my 30’s taught me how to climb it.
^^I also learned that some people don’t care about the corporate ladder — they are just happy to do their job and clock out. No need for climbing.
I learned how to make coffee for myself (what I liked and what I didn’t like).
I learned that happy hours/dinners/water cooler chat was WAY more important than meetings. That’s where the real networking happened.
I learned that publicly and privately recognizing your direct reports, peers, and other leaders good work is necessary. My favorite thing to do was to tell people what NICE things were said about them – recognizing their skills, acumen, confidence, and/or intelligence is always a good idea.
I learned that business travel is vital, especially when working remotely. The face to face connection, the inside jokes and events, and the respect you get from seeing your coworkers work is crucial.
I learned that you gotta know your shit when you are presenting. Sometimes, I didn’t know my shit — and it showed. Other times, I knew MY shit and my co-presenters shit better than they did — and that gets noticed. I remember a few instances of both. Deep embarrassments for not being prepared, and total confidence when other leaders tell you they were impressed. I think both are needed actually. The embarrassing presentations will teach you what not to do, and the kickass presos will push you to do more of that.
I learned that some leaders are not meant to be people leaders. Being an individual contributor can be equally as important if you put forth the effort to stand out. People management is hard because you never know what your people are dealing with personally, mentally or physically. And if you can’t establish a relationship with your people to know what’s going on on a given day — YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO LEAD. You can become a very toxic leader (even if you don’t mean to) within your company without truly realizing it. And it will have a trickle down affect on other teams.
I learned that if I was wrong about something, I’d take ownership and look for a new answer. Or rely on much smarter people to help me. No shame at all in looking for clarity. And no reason to hide about being wrong — that won’t make the problem go away.
I learned that the company doesn’t love you. You can love IT all you want, but it’s doesn’t love you back. You can never feel invincible or feel too comfortable. When you do, the universe knows it’s time for you to move on.
I learned that if can find your “forever friends” if you give people the opportunity, the time, and show them your true self outside of work.
I learned that friends, family, neighbors etc. outside your job don’t really care what your title is (or really what you do for work if you have to explain what it is you do!)
Lastly, I learned that I am not my profession. I am so much more.
Losing my job has been a great reset for me. It’s given me time to myself. Time to breathe. Time to refocus on what I want. Time with my family that is not intrusive of “work thoughts”. Time to be more active. Time with people I want to spend 1×1 time with.
Since moving on from my corporate job as a Director of Marketing, I’ve recently stepped into the world of podcasting. Helping my dear friend and show host, Karen, talk about an array of topics for our middle age podcast called Thirtyfivesixtyfour. It’s given me a brand new avenue to learn about, play and experimentation, and fully enjoy the content we are producing. And yours truly was even a guest!
It’s a little intimidating to end something that was familiar, good, and comforting to start a new venture from the ground up. We are rolling up our sleeves and going back to the basics. A small operational team of mighty women who’s goal is to spread goodness, knowledge, advice, and love into lives of those going through middle age. It’s been a fun road thus far, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to start fresh.
It’s never too late to start over. And the next thing will always come with more to learn.
With love,
Aunt Megs
With Love, Aunt Megs 